An Anniversary

Today, eight years ago, Mr. Intellectual and I started dating. I had turned 17 a month previous and he would still be 16 for another four months. It seems like a lifetime ago, and yet it feels like yesterday. I’m still troubled by the way we parted ways a while ago, but I’m finding it hard to care when I have so many other things going on in my life that require my attention- like finishing my master’s, dealing with the PTSD and my newly developed financial concerns.

Mr. Intellectual used to write me poetry once in a blue moon when the muse struck. It was something I always treasured partially because of how rare an occurrence it was and partially because it was often a glimpse into his thoughts and feelings for me that he never shared. There is nothing quite as flattering as having a poem written about you.

I have always hesitated when I wanted to post one of his poems. Out of respect for his creative privacy I always held off. I know when he gave them to me he did so with the understanding that they were for my eyes only- much like love letters. A part of me also wanted to continue keeping them as a private reminder of what we once had, however the time has come to let go.

Beauty
By Mr. Intellectual, c. 2000

To sit where I can see your face
And hear your laughter come and go
Is greater bliss than God himself
Could ever know.

The bright dream carries me away:
Watching your lips, your hair, your cheek,
I have so many things to say
Yet I cannot speak.

I look, I listen and my soul
Flames with a fire unfelt before
Until sense swims and I feel and see
And hear no more…

Ah, my love, her form divine!
And in my breast, passion, so cruel
Burns brightly and to the fire she
Adds such fuel!