Monday, July 19, 2010

Dress Shopping

Later this summer one of my brother's is getting married. In anticipation of the event I've been searching for a dress off and on - something that is appropriate for a family wedding, not dowdy looking, and not black. The last three dresses I bought for weddings were black and it's time for a change, not to mention the fact that this is a summer garden wedding and black would be too hot.

Along the way one of the sales staff I encountered had one of the nicest ways of telling me that a dress made me look fat. After stuffing myself into a dress that was a size too small, just to see if it looked good enough to order in my appropriate size she approached me with the line:

"Maybe we should find a dress that's a little more gentle on your curves."

I had to commender her aplomb in the situation since my ample chest was trying to break free of that dress and it was anything but flattering. In the end I did buy something from that store, but more than anything I was impressed with how this young woman handled things. Especially since I'm so used to retail workers lying and saying everything looks great on me, regardless of whether or not it really does.

Monday, July 05, 2010

The Effects of Moving Home

It's now been a month since I moved back to my parents house. It hasn't been the smoothest transition and I still feel like a transient. I've been splitting my time between my parents house and Quiet Confidence's. His apartment has been a necessary respite at times when I just need some space from my family or the things which are weighing me down.

The one thing I never really anticipated in moving home is that it would increase the triggers that sets off my PTSD. I haven't lived at home for longer than a couple of weeks since I acquired PTSD and didn't realize that I haven't learned to control or offset the triggers caused from this place. I'm still learning what around here is even a trigger. It has been a bit of a setback. I'm still not sure how to best cope with the problem. Leaving for QC's when I'm completely overwhelmed and unable to guide myself out of it has been essential.

Unfortunately I've been fairly withdrawn and moody around my family and I feel guilty for it. I'm hoping they don't take it personally, but I know that they are aware that not everything is ok with me. I'm not the most open and forthcoming person when it comes to personal things, so talking about it with anyone around here doesn't even cross my mind. I'm going to give yoga, working out and getting more sunshine a shot for a couple of weeks to see if it improves my mindset. If that fails to lift me out of my depression then I'll be heading back to my Doctor for antidepressants.