I think I've been dumped

The last time I talked to A. was on Thursday night. It was a short conversation that could have occurred between just about any two people and not a supposed couple. He abruptly ended the conversation saying he had to throw some clothes in the dryer since he had nothing to wear tomorrow. That was the last thing he said to me. I tried calling him 20 minutes later to ask him what was going on between the two of us and to see if he even wanted to continue on since I was getting fed up with his behaviour. He never answered the phone. It is now day four of his disappearing act and I’m pretty confident in saying that he won’t be calling or emailing anytime soon to explain just what happened.

I wasn’t concerned until Friday night when he didn’t show up for our hockey game. The man eat, sleeps and breathes hockey and has even gone so far as to take vacation time at work so as not to miss a game for our winter hockey league. I knew something wasn’t right when he failed to show up to our spring pick-up game and didn’t even call the organizer to explain what happened. I left him a message at home after the game asking if everything was all right and to call me- it’s gone unreturned. We had dinner plans on Saturday night, so I called in the early evening to see if we were still on. He never answered his cell or home phone.

In a moment of pure anxiety and angst as I was talking to Mr. Intellectual about the situation I asked if he wanted to accompany me on a stake out of A’s house to see if he was home. I needed to know if he was avoiding me or if there was something serious going on since I know A’s grandmother is 98 years old, lives alone and has been having some difficulties recently. His car was in the driveway and when I called the house from my cell phone, he didn’t pick up, thereby confirming all my angsty suppositions. My best bet is that he was in the basement, watching the playoffs and screening all my calls. I just couldn’t believe that a supposed man of integrity could pull such a juvenile disappearing act instead of talking to me like an adult to let me know that either he has a problem with me, or he simply doesn’t want to continue seeing me. I’ve never been treated like this before.

Of course I broke down in the car with Mr. Intellectual. He drove me around for a bit in the car, desperately trying to cheer me up by suggesting the old tried and true methods of bribing me with chocolates, ice cream and junk food. It had always worked for him in the past, but I’m really trying to break myself of the habit of medicating my pain with food. Instead he just held my hand while he drove, just like we used to do years ago when we were so in love. I’m not really sure if that made me feel better or worse in the long run. I just didn’t want to cry in front of him and show my vulnerability and to add to my emotional confusion, it felt surreal to be holding hands in the car like old times. I’m sure his girlfriend would be none too pleased to learn of what happened between us that day since she doesn’t even know how close we still are. It’s different now though, we’re no longer a couple, but two friends who grew up together and care what happens to the other.

If I haven’t heard anything from A. by Tuesday (day five of the avoidance), I’ll be sending him an email expressing my disappointment in his behaviour, saying I expected more from him and to formally end it- since it’s apparent he’s got no interest in me anymore. I’ve never been dumped before and this is the most bizarre thing to me. I never thought a man of 35 could act so immature, but then again human nature shouldn’t surprise me anymore. I just wish I didn’t care.