Dating Websites & Mixed Emotions

Something I never really told anyone about A. was that I found his online dating profile several weeks before we started seeing each other. At the time I didn’t mind and it gave me some insight in to a few of his interests that he had never talked about. However, once we started seeing each other he continued to log in daily and do whatever it was he was doing on the site. The only difference is that he changed his picture to the “backstage pass” option- hiding it from public viewing. It became a small obsession with me to log in to see if he had been online. It really started to bother me when he continued logging in almost daily, sometimes right after I had left his house to go home, after we had just slept together.

In hindsight I should have confronted him on it right away, or just walked away from him when he continued to log into the site. Instead I just silently sat by, monitoring his usage and letting it bother me more and more as the days went by. I knew the relationship wasn’t working too well, even without the daily log-in to the dating website, and stopped myself from becoming too emotionally involved. However, that doesn’t lessen my feelings of hurt from being so callously brushed aside. I checked the website again today and my stomach dropped when I saw that he had reposted his picture with the profile. Looking at it made me feel sick.

My only recourse was to fire off a well planned and coolly worded email that had been in the works since I had unequivocal proof he was avoiding me this past Saturday. I expressed my disappointment in his behaviour and lack of adult communications to end the relationship with some dignity and class. In closing, I added this line: “I hope you find what you're looking for daily on Lavalife that I wasn't able to give you.” The rest of the email was polite and unemotional, however I had to let fly with a little hint of bitchiness. Also to let him know that I knew exactly what was going on and he wasn’t fooling anyone. I’m not expecting a response, and I also fully expect that he’ll continue to avoid social situations where he’ll run into me, like Friday night hockey, and the big end of season banquet this Thursday. Coward.