I’ve begun to sleep around 15 hours a day for the past three days and I’m guessing the trend will continue.
I don’t get dressed until very late in the afternoon if at all, and I couldn’t care less.
Showering daily is a tremendous effort and I’m betting that in another few days it won’t happen.
If I remember to brush my teeth once a day I’m doing good.
I have a serious case of the “fuck-its” and just do not care about things I should, like my quarterly Progress Review Meeting with my Master’s committee, or setting up appointments to get into the archives I need to visit in order to finish the research phase of my thesis.
Moments of anxiety, anger and mental agitation are only soothed by brief suicidal ideations.
When not in bed trying to sleep away my time I am watching movies and thinking about what I should make for my next meal, even though the idea is boring.
I only eat because I know that is what I should be doing at that time of the day, not because I particularly care to eat.
Not even several days of sunshine are enough to make me feel normal and even a bit happy.
Depression is insidious.
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2 comments:
I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Some days I wake up and think about just closing my eyes and sleeping the day away. I too am in the midst of completing my MA in History (hoping to finish this July). Your website has kept me sane on a lot of days when I feel overwelmed and under motivated, you're a fantastic writer.
Thank-you C. I appreciate you taking time to message me. Good luck finishing your MA, I know it isn't easy. I'm hoping to be done and defended by July as well, but we'll see.
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