Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Decision Time

I woke up this morning feeling better than I have in a while. While lingering over my morning tea and surveying my new neighbourhood from my desk I realized I had some decisions to make.

It's time to move on from The Jock. He is the embodiment of the man I fear ending up with. We can occasionally have fun together and the sex is always good, but that does not a relationship make. He is in love with the possibilities I present and not who I am, which is evident from the way he dwells on my future earnings potential after the Ph.d is complete and what I can provide for him if we stay together. I am little more than a gravy train with a good body and skills in the bedroom. He of course would try to deny this, but I see it.

While all this is more of an annoyance than a reason to walk away, there is a greater reason. He treats me with zero respect for the majority of the time I’m with him and isn’t above cruel personal attacks, unwarranted sarcasm, and taking out his frustrations or depression on me. While I understand to a degree why he does this, there is a bigger part of me that knows I deserve better. I have never truly dated an asshole, just the occasional guy who pulls an asshole stunt, and I’m not about to start now. I gave him a chance to pull it together and start treating me the way I would expect a boyfriend to, but he hasn’t.

Today is the day I realized I’d had enough and to just walk away without looking back.

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