Friday, November 16, 2007

Will it never end?

Alone in bed this morning I was thinking about Mr. Intellectual. It’s been 3 years and change since we broke up but I still think about him almost every day and it hasn’t abated with time. Lying on my side, curled up in bed I thought of all those nights we spent together at his parents house spooning on the couch. The way he’d hold me and always wanted to be near me. I miss that closeness and security. I miss feeling truly loved. I miss the way he’d challenge me intellectually and how my mind would work over time when we were together and discussing our work. There has been a huge hole in my life since he left and so far I have yet to find a man who can fill that void. Maybe I’m asking for too much, but I want someone who fulfills me emotionally and intellectually and there just hasn’t been anyone who’s been able to do both and be available to me. I wish I could stop thinking about him though, since I know he’s long since gotten over me and I’m sure doesn’t give me any thought any more since we stopped talking over a year and a half ago.

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