Sunday, January 07, 2007

A Surprising Discovery of Emotions

Optimism. For the first time in a very long time I feel optimistic about the future. However, I'm scared to let myself dream.

I'm scared that if I allow myself to hope and anticipate that it will all come crashing down around me. Just when I feel like my dreams are a possibility again, I find myself tempering my new found spark of joy with a healthy dose of pessimistic caution. Too much has happened to me in the past year for me to blithely abandon myself to the possibilities of what may come.

I desperately hope that I have turned a corner and the worst of it is now behind me, but to assume as much would be woefully ignorant of me.

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