One Rainy Afternoon

After canceling plans with him the previous weekend, we finally met up for coffee this past Friday afternoon. It wasn’t the dinner he had envisioned, but under the circumstances it was the best I could give him. Our first plans fell through because I didn’t feel up to it after having gone to see my doctor for a barrage of STD test’s and blood draws that day. I was understandably upset and the thought of putting on a happy face to socialize was more than I could bear. I was feeling so bad that I cancelled over text message- something I’m not really proud of.

I was still apprehensive about attempt number two, but I made myself go regardless. Our original plans were to meet for dinner, but I called and said I had to be back in the New University Town by early evening because I got slammed with marking that week and was under the gun with deadlines. He was really great about it and suggested meeting up for coffee mid-afternoon at one of the independent café’s in town. It was nice to feel like a priority in his life since he took time off work to spend time with me, something Mr. Intellectual never did.

We caught up with each other’s lives from the past two years over multiple cups of coffee in a quiet little corner of a café I immediately fell in love with. It was so quintessential Uni Town in its atmosphere, décor and patrons. So much had changed and yet stayed the same in the past two years. He’s become more focused and settled, but has retained his boyish exuberance and frenetic energy at the same time.

Unbeknownst to me he has kept up with the major changes in my life through one or two of my brother’s. I have no idea exactly how much of the details he knows, but he knew about my job move, my move to the New Uni Town, and my Ph.d acceptance. I also knew through some of his friends that prior to the party at my brother’s house, he had asked to find out if I was going to be there and was excited to see me again. I was flattered and surprised to discover his continued interest in my life after we parted ways.

Conversation flowed easily and we found new common ground while traversing old paths of shared interests. For that afternoon we were just two old friends lingering over a great cup of coffee on a cold and rainy day. It was nice to just be uncomplicated for a few hours. We parted with a hug and he promised to call me again the following week to make plans for when I’m back in town.

I’m still uncertain of a relationship with him, but I feel that he of all people would be the most compassionate and least judgmental about the herpes, my depression and my driven, border line workaholic lifestyle. That being said, if I’m going to become more than good friends with him, I need to cleanly break away from the Jock once and for all. Which is easier said than done, especially right now.