The Office

I made an effort tonight to watch tv since I rarely watch anymore. I missed the show, The Office and wanted to see what was happening, not to mention I needed a laugh. I wasn't disappointed, but I did miss quite a bit since last season. It reminded me though, that I should have the DVD's on my Christmas list, including the British version since that was my first exposure to it, and still my favourite.

Dreaming of Spring

The Dying Days of NaBloPoMo

With a mere 3 days left of the NaBloPoMo challenge, I'd be remiss if I didn't say I was glad to see it ending. It has definitely been a challenge to get to the computer everyday and put something up. I found Friday's and Saturday's to be especially difficult since that's usually when I'm out with friends in the evening or over at the Jock's house.

In the beginning I laughed at the little vignette Mrs. Kennedy of Fussy, and the instigator of this whole endeavor, included within the instructions for NaBloPoMo. Something along the lines of posting every day, including taking time out of Thanksgiving dinner to update her "blob" and incuring the wrath of her mother for doing so. While I thought I'd never be the one doing that, I was sadly mistaken. Three times now I've snuck away in the middle of either a house party or a gathering of friends to find a computer and update my blog.

It's unfortunate that I wasn't aware of NaDruWriNi ahead of time, since that would have made things easier and a lot more entertaining. I always got my post's up before I got too drunk to make sense. Apparently, I was doing it all wrong. Interestingly enough this has spawned National Drunk Blogging Day.

I'm some what impressed with how long it took me before the burn out caught up and the post's became more filler and less meaningful. My one fear of the 30 day challenge is that as soon as it's over I'll take a huge break and go back to sporadic posting. I think a more realistic blogging goal is to aim for 3 to 5 good posts a week, and take the weekend off unless inspiration hits.

I seriously love the newest NaBloBoMo seal. It's so apropos.

Bump & Grind

In fall I purchased my first car- a 2000 Buick LeSabre in bronze, which is really a tan colour. I was sad to give up Betsy, my mother's sky blue 1989 Chevrolet Caprice Classic, since that was the first car I learned to drive in and spent the majority of my time on the road with. It was also a seriously pimping ride, as compared to the old man mobile I now own. However, the new car is more reliable, gas efficient and an all around nicer ride. It is a car I'm grateful to have.

This past Friday during the morning rush hour commute through town on my way out to the highway I had a minor fender bender. Some middle aged yuppie in a Jaguar rear ended me at a stop light. There's some minor paint transfer- his black on my tan - that isn't noticeable until you're told it's there. I was just annoyed that this happened in the first place because of his carelessness, however it was such a low speed impact no major repairs were needed and I'm hoping that I can buff out the paint transfer.

I take a certain amount of sick satisfaction in the fact that it was a Jag that caused the accident and he'll be paying more to fix his car than I would be. Had it been worse I would be quite upset over it all. As it stands I'm just thankful it wasn't any worse and no one was hurt.

Happy Birthday...

Due to thesis work, and marking from my course, I was unable to make it home for my niece and nephew's combined birthday party. Little Miss E turned 4 on the 20th, and Daddy's Boy turned 2 on the 28th. I haven't seen them in weeks, and I'm starting to really miss my family. My mother emailed me afterwards to tell me how it went and give me an update on the family. It makes me sad to miss out on these sorts of things, especially since the kids are growing up so quickly, and my grandparents are aging rapidly.

Happy Birthday Little Miss E & Daddy's Boy!

Miss you lots. xoxo

Gulliver's Travels

Tom Otterness, 2002 from the exhibit "Free Money and Other Fairy Tales"

I came across this a couple of months ago while searching for something completely different. I found this sculpture and the artist's style to be fascinating. If it was a little more affordable I'd probably buy something of his.

Exhaustion

I wonder at what point does the body rebel against you when you're depriving it of sleep, proper nutrition and hyping it up on caffeine to get the job done? Is it possible function and write well on only 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night for days on end?

In Honour of American Thanksgiving

In honour of American Thanksgiving I present this clipping from 1888. If you're coming up short for novel recipes to wow the family with, this should do the trick. I find it interesting that there are no baking instructions included with the sponge cake recipe, but then again it's not surprising since there was no way to consistently control temperature on a wood stove. Happy Thanksgiving America!

Old Hurts

There it is again. That ever present ache and sense of drifting through my own life. A disconnect with self that I can’t seem to explain or even begin to fix. Will this be here for the rest of my life, I wonder? Will I always be bumping into the ghost of your presence at every turn?

It’s been almost 2 1/2 years since we called it quits, and over 6 months since we last spoke. I’m still confused about what precipitated the end of it all, and hurt at how it’s been left. Knowing you didn’t value our friendship the same way that I did, and probably never did cuts me to the core. How quickly you forgot, and tossed me aside. Callous and indifferent. Was it self preservation, or disgust with me? I’ll never know.

This feeling, this hollow ache and sense of loss has become embedded in who I am now. Like a pearl nestled in the folds of a clam, irritating the soft flesh, causing it to increase in size one iridescent layer at a time. Maybe some day it won’t hurt.

Under the Gun

The sessional I'm a teaching assistant for this semester in one of my TAships is beyond incompetent. Due to his incompetence and some unforseen assholery I must now mark 60 midterms and post marks tonight. I'll probably be up until 3 am at least to get this crap done. I was never a big fan of unions and our Union in particular, however right now I'm glad I have them because some shit could hit the fan in this situation, and I may need the union to back me up.

Summer on the Farm

Throw Away Posts

I knew that the NaBloPoMo challenge was going to eventually find me dry for ideas to write about. For the past few weeks I've attempted to create posts of quality but I knew it was only a matter of time before I was left with nothing and forced to put up a throw away post. This is that day. I've got nothing, not even a picture worth posting. I think I should break down and buy Maggie Mason's book now, or find some sort of inspiration to break the writer's block for tomorrow. Here's hoping.

Gambling

For various reasons I dislike gambling. One of them is due to my religion and their stance on it, regardless of the fact that I am no longer a practicing member.

Unless you can afford to lose the money, I believe you shouldn't put money down expecting a big pay out because the house always wins. As a student, and one barely on the edge of solvency, I think that gambling for me is not a good choice. That doesn't mean I don't buy the occasional scratch ticket (Win for Life being my favourite) or the odd Lottery ticket. I buy them for entertainment, without the expectation that I'll see that money again. I don't buy them as a means of solving my financial difficulties or bank on it for retirement. I rarely if ever gamble and if I had to guess I probably do it once or twice a year, if even.

What if my partner doesn't view gambling in this light? What if they believe in it less as a form of entertainment, and more as a legitimate way of making money? Of creating financial solvency and retirement funds? I don't like pushing my views on others, but how do you create a sense of peace between two conflicting ideologies?

I'm a Tool

I had to fill in for the Professor I'm a Teaching Assistant for since he was away at a conference today. Originally I was supposed to prepare a lecture, but at the last minute he decided I should show a video instead.

I got to class early to make sure everything worked and lo and behold, the sound was too low on the projector to hear anything. I fiddled around with the machine and the small sheet of instructions taped to the box but nothing did the trick. Finally I gave up and called IT since I didn't want to have to cancel the class.

The IT guy came down mere minutes before class was supposed to begin. Apparently there were a set of knobs on the side of the box that I had overlooked, since I was looking at it head on. Not only did I look like a serious blonde air-head, I ended up looking like a tool in front of a number of my students since they had begun to filter in already. Awesome work Jane. Next time it might pay to be slightly more observant. Ugh.

Progression of a Relationship

I had this text message exchange last Friday afternoon. We've been casually seeing each other once a week when I'm in town, for dinner, coffee or to just hang out for a bit, but I wasn't sure exactly how to take him. He always seems interested and genuinely pleased to see me, but I have my nagging doubts. We always have a good time and I was disappointed when he didn't call on Wednesday or Thursday like usual to set something up.

Him: What are you up to tonight?

Jane: Dinner with friends and early to bed since (little brother) and I are heading home early tomorrow.

Him: Awe. Was hoping to see you. Should have called.

We exhanged a few more messages while he was at work. In the end I agreed to meet up for a drink on Saturday night after I had dropped off my brother at his University and on my way out to my University town. It's interesting to see how this is slowly unfolding, since it is more like a courtship without the hurried pace to get me into his bed. I like the fact that he's trying to get to know me without the complications of a physical relationship.

Freezing Love

I've come to the conclusion that without my mother's generosity I probably would have starved already. Every time I go home, which isn't often anymore, she sends along food with me when I leave. Whether it's items she knows I can't buy in my new city, or things I won't make for myself, I always leave with enough food to make me feel slightly guilty.

Lately she's been setting aside enough of whatever she makes for dinner into containers sized perfectly for one meal. She is all too aware of fact that when I'm heavily into writing or marking, like I am right now, I won't take the time to make a meal. If it can't be microwaved or prepared in 5 minutes or less, I won't eat it. This leads to some appalling dining habits, like cereal for dinner, just a cup of coffee for lunch, random snacking on junk and a profusion of PB&J sandwiches which fulfill the need for protein and good fats. Meat and vegetables become non-existant, and I know that my habits and diet makes my mother cringe. This only lasts for a few days to a few weeks at a time, depending on the work load I'm buried under.

My housemates poke fun of the fact that my mother feeds me like this. They've commented that I eat odd things, and the only time I eat a "real meal" is when I pull one of my mom's out of the freezer. Whatever, I'm just grateful that my mother understands my lifestyle and supports what I'm doing, even if it means making sure I'm eating properly as if I was still a young child of hers and not a grown woman. Everytime I open up the freezer I'm reminded of how much I'm loved, and I wouldn't trade that feeling for the world.

Christmas Shopping

My mother's Christmas present came in the mail today. She's always admired my costume jewellery and it's over the top flash and size, but it's clearly been my style and not something she'd wear. She has a small collection of her own that's mostly lapel pins and a few simple necklaces. However, over the past few months she's expressed a desire to have something more elaborate. She's beginning to be more comfortable with wearing costume jewellery in general and has hinted a bit that perhaps she'd go so far as to wear the more flashy, bold and daring pieces like those in my collection.

I bought this Juliana set off eBay to match the beautiful dress she had for my brother's wedding last year. Although I liked the jewellery she picked to go with it, I believe the dress deserves something a little more fitting than the simple mass produced fashion accessories she picked up at the mall. I can't wait until Christmas morning! Now if only I could pick out that perfect gift for my father.

Something's Changed

I slowly awaken in the deep of the night to the feel of your touch on my back. I’m curled up on my side, facing the wall like I usually do, one hand tucked gently underneath my cheek. Your hand softly, gently, moves up and down my bare back, gradually changing to kneed and massage my shoulders and lower back. Your body moves closer to me as you feel me waking up and I sigh in contentment.

Later you tell me that you woke up in the middle of the night like you sometimes do. I was snoring softly, and you found the sight to be too cute. The peaceful, innocence of me in slumber, with my eyes closed, oblivious to the world made you want to reach out and touch me. You said that you wanted to watch me smile in my sleep, since unbeknownst to me I always give a small smile whenever you touch me regardless of whether or not I’m awake.

After a while I snuggle up against your body and doze off. We spoon in our sleep, and you keep a protective arm around me. This is the first night that I can remember where you want to keep me close like that in your sleep and actively seek me out. Maybe your declarations of love are more than just words, but actually carry some truth? Perhaps your joking and frequent proposals of marriage are done less to annoy me, and more in the hopes that I’ll truly say yes? It is a thought that I have never given any consideration to before now.

Vintage Costume Jewellery II

Here's another vintage costume jewellery piece from my collection. This one is made by Coro and has a matching necklace. It's an incredibly sparkly piece due to the aurora borealis finished rhinestones. I love how it throws out hundreds of little rainbows like a disco ball in direct sunlight.

I bought this set off of ebay shortly after the Juliana bracelet. It's a nice neutral coloured set which makes it pretty flexible in terms of what I can and cannot wear it with. I recently found out that it was made with a pair of earrings as well that I don't have right now. I'm going to keep my eye out on ebay to find just the earrings. Unfortunately the set I saw had red rhinestones instead of aurora ones so I didn't bid.

Remembrance Day

On the eleventh day, of the eleventh month at the eleventh hour (November 11th, at 11:00am), 2 minutes of silence is observed to pay our respects to Canada's fallen soldiers. It is a tradition that began shortly after World War I and continues on to this day in Canada as a National day of observance.

Two years ago the Royal Canadian Mint issued the world's first colourized coin. It was minted, with the permission of the Royal Canadian Legion, to honour and pay tribute to Canadian War veterans.

I came across a few in circulation that I kept and have put on my desk. It's a constant, yet subtle, reminder of our past and what I have to be thankful for everyday. As a pacifist I am accutely aware of the sacrifices others have made so that I have the luxury of never having to experienced a war, and never being conscripted to take up arms. So although today is the official day of observance, I like to remember what we went through as a country everytime I look at these coins as I go about my daily life.